03 Mar How to Tell Your Partner You Have a Permanent STD
Sexually Transmitted Diseases or STDs are surprisingly common. While many are symptomless in men, ensuring you have regular check-ups can help you to know that you are clean. Most can be easily solved, but they are extremely contagious, so it is courteous to provide this knowledge to your recent sexual partners if you contract one so that they can take the measures to protect themselves. However, some STDs like herpes and HIV don’t go away, and it is important to tell your sexual partners that you have these diseases BEFORE you engage in intercourse as they can be transmitted and change that person’s life. Importantly, it is possible to transfer herpes when you are not having an outbreak so it is integral to tell your partner.
1. As soon as possible
It is hard to tell people that you have these conditions as it can ruin the sexual chemistry between you. However, there is nothing worse than having all your clothes off and then being rejected. If you tell someone as soon as possible, it is up to them to carry on with that information and make an informed decision whether they want to have sex with you or not. If you have gotten them to the point of naked and then tell them, they are likely to be angry and feel cheated.
2. If there isn’t an appropriate moment, create one
It is difficult to get the words out of your mouth and often you are looking for the right time to blurt it out. Looking for a break in a conversation that may turn your way is going to be challenging. With this in mind, if it doesn’t seem to come up, it is your job to make it a conversation topic and warn them ahead of time.
3. Say it straight
While you may feel like you are breaking the news of a death sentence, adding the extra emotion to the conversation will pile stress on your partner. Instead, mention it to them in a more matter-of-fact tone and explain that you understand how it might make them feel but you are telling them to give them the choice.
4. Give them the option to go
In many cases, despite you being the carrier of the disease, you are also a victim. Perhaps you didn’t know that your last partner had an STD. Perhaps the condom broke. Either way, you may feel that it is unfair that you have to explicitly mention this every time. Moreover, you may experience a great deal of rejection because of it. While this is heartbreaking, you need to give people the informed choice and let them walk away if they don’t want to take the risk. Trying to convince them it is safe is an unfair way to revoke someone’s autonomy.
5. Don’t avoid it altogether
Maybe it feels like it’s getting too late, or maybe you are just too embarrassed. There is no situation where you shouldn’t tell someone beforehand. It is vital that the partner knows before you engage in intercourse and leaving it until afterward or never is morally wrong. It can also come back to haunt you later if they have a test and find out they are positive.
Having a permanent STD is a hard enough problem to live with as it is. Embarrassing and life-changing, while you may hate the idea of having it, would you push it on to anyone else? Taking a supplement like Ultimate Man Once a Day will also help to prevent flare-ups, at least easing the physical issue a little.